Reflections
by Regan4567
Summary: A t.A.T.u. Fanfic inspired by their music video White Robe - During Yulia's last day alive, Lena recollects her past years with the girl that she will love eternally. Hoping that the alarm to signal will sound, she reflects on her past with Yulia.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer! I do not own any rights to t.A.T.u. The t.A.T.u. name belongs to the rightful owner (Yulia Volkova since she bought it not too long ago.) And only a couple events actually happened in this story even then, the facts are slightly changed. The rest is all fictional!

Heyy guys! Well… it's my first t.A.T.u. fanfic, and well…. Most of all, I'm just hoping you like it. The story is inspired by the White Robe/Beliy Plaschik video and a few true facts. But apart from that, I don't actually know if the events that are in this story actually happened :/  
>Oh and there are references to t.A.T.u.'s other music videos… maybe you'll spot them… maybe not. But one thing I do hope is that you'll enjoy the story. First off though, I'm just going to release an introductory part (prologue) and if I get good feedback then I'll start posting the other chapters that I've wrote XD So yeah enjoy!<br>P.S – the prologue isn't really that long as you'll see in a minute.

_Ironic isn't it? We've been through so much together... and now it has to end like this. I don't want it to end like this, why would I? After everything, I still love you. After knowing what you did, this feeling won't go. After declaring your love for me, and then betraying me. I don't know why, and I hate you for this, for this stupid feeling that just won't go. I accepted this, thinking that if I went through with it, then I'd be over this feeling, but no, just one look in your beautiful blue eyes, the colour of the sea. Your eyes that change different shades of blue depending on your mood. Right now they're almost grey, you feel dead inside. That ones such an easy one to figure out, you felt like that a lot of times when we were together. Whenever we'd argue, and I wouldn't talk to you, your eyes would always change to a near grey colour. And it's those eyes that I fall in love with each time..._


	2. Reminiscing

_I can clearly picture the time you told me you loved me. We were best friends, and you had told me that you had something you need to tell me, something urgent. You had told me "Lena, I've lost my mind" and carried on telling me "I cannot understand myself... They say it's my entire fault, and I swear I did try to forget." _

_I was confused, you weren't making any sense. But then you had said "Without you, there is no me, I don't want anything but you, it's like slow poison, and it's making me crazy." _

_I remember thinking that you had clearly lost your mind. I had thought maybe you had been out in the sun too long again. You did have a habit of sitting out in the sun for long periods of time. You always did like getting a tan. I tried to say something, suggest that you have a rest. You must have read my mind because, before I could start, you began again. _

"_Without you I am not myself. Without you there is no me Lena. May Mama and Papa forgive me for what I feel for you, but it's true. Call me crazy, I don't care, ill scream it as loud as I can... YA SOSHLA S UMA! YA LYUBLYU-"_

_I didn't know why I did what I did at the time; my excuse was to stop you from finishing that sentence. But deep down, I knew I felt the exact same way towards you. I was shocked to say the least... after all I kissed YOU, my best friend... a girl. _

_I understand why we ran away and stole that truck; I understand that – we were madly in love, our parents didn't agree. They tried separating us, but our love was too strong, so we decided to run away with each other. I remember you telling me "Nothing can stop us, not now I love you." At the age of 15 we ran away. It didn't last long, we were caught. But yet, you took the whole blame, you didn't want me to get a criminal record. Said you kidnapped me because you were deeply in love with me. Thank goodness the police believed me over you. I said that we ran away together. But you were adamant that you stole the truck. I was... no... I am grateful to this very second for what you did, taking the blame, no words can express my gratitude._

_We convinced our parents to keep seeing each other, I think they finally realised how much we actually loved each other after that incident. After that, we came out with our secret to everyone, why should we be afraid of who we love? People disliked us, despised us, and hated us. We couldn't care less. We only needed each other, as long as we were together, like you said. Nothing can stop us._

_I remember when we were 17, 3 years we had been together, 3 years of pure happiness. You had decided to have your hair cut again. I loved it, the way you would style it different every day, you loved your hair. One day you would make it a Mohawk, the next spikes all over, then the next just flat. You made every single style look amazing. The best part of it was, you only ever let me mess with your hair, and you said it was relaxing._

_Let's not even get started on your perfect body! No matter how much you ate, you'd still maintain that perfectly toned body. You weren't satisfied, you said you had boyish hips, flat breasts and were too skinny. To me, you were perfect. It made you even sexier in my eyes. _

"_I know what it's like to have breasts, and let me tell you... they get in the way at times." I'd always say to you. And you'd always reply with, "Your breasts are perfect, they don't get in the way of things... they make things more... interesting" always finishing with a wink. _

_When we were 18, that's when things started to take a turn for the worst. You always were more outgoing than me, could interact more with others; could speak your mind. You could easily make friends with anyone. That's when you made friends with Pasha. He introduced you to his other friends, like Sasha, Troy, Sven, Damen... well you get my point. I never did like Pasha, there was something about him, and it was obvious he was interested in you. I tried telling you, many times, but it would always end up in arguing, saying that I should trust your judgement, that I was probably paranoid because he was 23. I guess it annoyed you that much with me telling you. And we ended up breaking up. I was devastated, I'm glad that Sasha and Sven were there to help me. God knows what I would have done without them. _


	3. A Turn For The Worst

We couldn't deny the fact that we still loved each other, so, we remained friends. Best friends in fact, I was glad that you still confided in me about everything, we still kissed, that was only natural for us.

I remember, one of the worst days of my life, you told me that you were dating Pasha. My heart nearly ripped in two, I could actually hear a slight crack, the beginning of my heartache. I couldn't believe it; I thought that because we were so close that we would have ended up back together. I acted as if I was happy for you, although you knew better, but decided to play along. It was ok though; I knew it wouldn't last as long as we did, want to know why?

Two reasons really, you still kissed me gently, passionately, with love. I could tell. And then I'd see you kiss Pasha, and I could tell it was forced. He was aggressive in kisses, as if he owned you. The second reason was that (and I know this sounds silly) you still only let me play with your hair. You still thought it was soothing. I was jumping with joy (in my head, I'd look like an idiot in front of everyone) when Pasha touched your hair. You blew up in his face and told him that no one touches your hair. Then started ranting how long it takes, and how you wouldn't want anyone messing up such hard work and perfection.

When I was 19, and you were still 18 (almost 19) you came to me, saying that you didn't know what to do, that I was the only person you could tell this to. I was honoured at first, but then you gave me the biggest shock of my life... you were pregnant. My first thought was that there was no way that you had slept with Pasha willingly. But I knew better.

You had asked me whether you should get an abortion, straight away I had told you to keep the baby. You looked at me with a shocked expression, not knowing what to say. You didn't want to be pregnant, the baby wasn't planned. However, then you told me that the baby might not be Pasha's. I didn't know what to think, all these emotions kept running through my head – Happiness because it proved you didn't love Pasha. Anger because I couldn't believe you would cheat on someone. Sadness because I could see that you were upset by this. I asked who else it could be and you replied back that it could be Sergey's.

Sergey was a childhood friend for the both of us, and he would always support us in everything that we did. A year my senior (2 years for you) every girl liked him, he had the looks, he could sing, dance and he had a great personality. I was shocked to say the least, you and Sergey, I mean yeah, when I think about it, you suit. You both have the looks, both could sing and dance, and both had great personalities. It was just... you were too alike, Sergey was basically the male form of you, the only difference being that he had deep chocolate brown eyes instead of your sparkling blue sapphires .

What could I say? I couldn't shout at you, you were pregnant; I knew better than to inflict stress upon you and the baby. So I told you that everything was going to be fine. I suggested that you tell Sergey that he could be the father to your child, see how he would react to the news. It was only right Pasha knew too, after all, it was possible that he could be the father as well. Everything was too complicated.

Surprisingly, Sergey took it well considering you weren't in a relationship with him. He had told you that if he is the father, when they found out after the baby was born, and then he'd do whatever he could to provide for the child; and, if you had wanted, he would be a dad to the child as well. I remember his exact words.

"Yulia, anyone can be a father, but it takes someone who cares to be a dad. So I'll be there for the child, unless of course you don't want me to. If that's the case I'll still support you and the child."

You were shocked to say the least, but oh so happy at the same time. Now it was Pasha's turn.

On the other hand, Pasha had took it badly, hardly surprising really, you had only told him that you were pregnant (you couldn't mention the fact that he might not be the father) and straight away he had suggested abortion. He told you that you had too much to lose by having a child, as did he. He made up excuses as to why you shouldn't have the baby. Financial reasons, responsibility, the lack of free time, hard work, the lost freedom; the excuses were endless! I had my suspicions though; it seemed strange that he had the reasons mapped out already. However, I pushed it to the back of my mind. Like you had said before, I needed to trust your judgement.

Then once again the arguments began and after what seemed like hours of constant quarrelling, I could see that you were getting stressed. I should have got involved straight away; I suppose I just wanted to see what would happen. And now, I could tell, you were going to blow at any minute. I got involved, told you to wait outside whilst I dealt with situation. The second you closed that door I had slapped him across the face. I called him a bastard for impregnating you, it was then that the rage began – I was seething.

I told him he wasn't worthy of dating someone like you and how if I'd have been in his shoes that I'd have been delighted that you were carrying my child. I told him that if I were dating you that I would be the best possible partner, not only to fulfil your needs but to show love and compassion towards the person who meant absolutely everything to me.

One hour. That's how long this feud had lasted. Comments bouncing back and forth to and from each other, voices rising. It was then he had told me something that had crushed my heart. He told me that you never loved me, that I was just a stage, an experiment, a thing to pass the time with. My initial thought was to hit him and tell him how wrong he was. After that, I stormed out the room left the house; it was all too much for me.

You were sat on the couch, watching TV and after spotting me walking down the hallway; you jumped up and smiled at me. I was momentarily swooned by that dazzling smile, I mean, who wouldn't be? Perfect straight teeth, white as snow which, in a certain light glowed. But just as quick as I was swooned, I was just as quickly overtaken with fury. I remember telling you to 'Fuck off'.

I said I never wanted to see you again, I was kidding myself by saying that, rage does strange things to you, makes you say things that aren't actually true. My heart was already broken by the news, and seeing your face drop after momentarily confused broke it even more. I couldn't stand to see you that upset. But why were you hurt by what I had said? After all, I was just a stage, an experiment, a thing to pass the time.

You never actually loved me; you played me, just like you played many others before me.

It made sense I suppose, that you never loved me I mean. That I was just a stage, it explained why you always got annoyed at me during our early days of being 18. You must have been sick of my presence constantly. It wasn't my fault, even though you never loved me, I loved you with all my heart and soul. Nothing could change that... it still can't. That day was one of the hardest things I've had to do in my life. I had sworn to myself that I would never fall in love again.

I had walked out of your life; you tried getting in contact with me several times. You had phoned my house and mobile phone several times each day, you came to my house on numerous occasions. Each time it got harder and harder to avoid you. So I done the only thing I could... I moved. It wasn't easy for me to move, it was a costly process and then I had to change my number to make sure you didn't call.

I remember that my Mama had phoned to see how I was doing, it was a cheerful chat, such a nice feeling to hear a reassuring voice; well at least it was until she had told me that you had visited the house. Apparently Sasha had told you that I had moved.

My first reaction was happiness, maybe you still cared after all? But then I remembered you loved attention, always have, always will. And who better than to lather you with attention than someone who loves you with all their heart? I was glad that my Mama didn't tell you where I moved to. It would save the stress of having to see you again.


	4. Our First Meeting

**_Hey guys! Well here's my next chapter. This seems to be the only story that I'm dedicated to at the moment. My other two stories I have writers block with. And with this story actually I am as well. (I'm up to about chapter 11 on this story on my word document)_**

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><p><em>I knew that if you were ever to find out where I lived, and I knew that you would at some point; then you would be convincing me to talk to you again. After realising how hard it was to avoid you before, there was no doubt in my mind that I would, without a shadow of a doubt, return happily into your life. I'd have given literally anything to see your exquisite genuine smile that was only ever seen on rare occasions. It was hard to distinguish your fake smile from your genuine one. You were great at acting, always wanted to become famous. You even had that short amount of time where you were. Well we both were, but you were more popular than me. It's typical the way we met actually, both in Neposedi at the time. We clicked instantly... Well… not instantly but it didn't take too long. <em>

_I was the new kid, it was only natural for me to be teased as the newbie of the group; but you didn't join in with the mockery, you were always more sympathetic than the others. You told me about your struggles with being new, how you were considered to be the 'odd one out'. You empathised with my situation, you told me to keep my head up and not retort to the teasing. Astonishingly, you, Yulia Volkova, one of the most popular members of Neposedi, actually understood a boring, dull redhead._

_After your protection from the teasers, no one would dare talk about me in the wrong way. After all, who would dare mess with the great Yulia Volkova? We were inseparable, always by each other's side. We always said we loved each other, back then we loved each other as best friends. But our love was so strong, people never knew what to think, whether we were just best friends who loved each other dearly. Or something more?_

_I remember the day when you introduced me to Sergey, he didn't come to the band everyday like us, he was older, so he was put in another part of the group. I have to admit, your facial expression indicated total shock when you realised that we were already friends. I remember his exact words when he saw me there, he pretended to look shocked and stunned by my appearance, but he was just a big joker at heart. His words still echo around my mind._

"_Lena? You're the new smokin' red head everyone's been talking about? Well this is a downer... I was hoping to meet a new chick." _

_To which I would reply "Idiot, I bet you don't even care that I'm second soprano, same as Yulia here."_

_We had told you that we had met when I was 6, he had just turned 7. We had the same piano teacher, and, unfortunately for me, I had to wait outside until the previous student was finished with his/her lesson. Sergey explained further that he was the one in the room, he was having difficulties learning a Beethoven piece, and he couldn't seem to figure it out no matter how hard he tried. I continued to explain that I was getting awfully impatient. After all, waiting outside for over thirty minutes is quite monotonous. Sergey carried on._

"_Yeah and the next thing I know, I get a little six year old red head slamming the door open demanding that she have her lesson now or else she would tell her parents to forget the extra money that was to be given to the teacher." _

_You looked at me, eyes filled with amusement as my face almost turned to the colour of my hair._

"_Aww who would have thought that the shy Lena we all know is bossy? I guess it's true what they say about red heads, eh Sergey?" Was your reply with a wholehearted laugh to go accompany it._

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><p><strong><em>AN_**

**_I only really expected this story to be a one-shot at first… Funny how things turn out huh? :P _**

**_But its waaaay to long to be a one-shot. So yeah here I am making a story out of it. So anyway, so far I hope you guys are enjoying it. And be sure to review, I honestly would really appreciate it if you did. Would mean I knew how many were reading it then :P Even if its bad reviews, I honestly don't mind. Would mean whether or not I knew if the story was a load of crap or not XD _**

**_Also, before I forget. I'm sorry if you think the chapters are too short. But on my document it actually looks somewhat the right amount of pages for a story. But then uploading it here just makes it look smaller XD So yeah, sorry if you think the chapter are too short, but I hope you enjoy the story nevertheless :D_**

**_Oh! Almost forgot! Another reason why I haven't updated this is because, well, I have exams in high school right now. So I'm trying to balance everything out. So sorry if my updates are late. But I really want to get good grades in my subjects (Especially Science - seem to be doing crap in that right now) _**


	5. Meeting New Friends

_**Chapter 4 - Meeting New Friends.**_

_**Well heres the next chapter. I actually have quite alot of chapters written. But I always look back on them and edit and add things or take things off. Plus like I said in the last chapter, I have my exams this month so im revising like crazy XD And because of that, I havent really been able to add to my story. (Plus the fact im writing a story somewhat based on real life) So things are kind of hectic right now. Luckily though, because im ill i get to stay off school. So I have alot of more time now. Im only going in for exams now :) So updates might be a bit more frequent. **_

_**Anyway, yet again... the chapter doesn't seem that long. But it does actually seem longer on my documents. **_

_**Also straight after I post this, im going to post Chapter 5 :)**_

_It had been two months. Two long, miserable months without seeing you. The first month was extremely painful, why wouldn't it be? Knowing that the person I loved used me; took me for a complete and utter fool. Coming to grips with it all was extremely painful; luckily Mama had visited frequently to help me through everything. Even Papa came to visit... although that ended up in a huge argument._

"_I told you that loving that... thing... was a huge mistake, but would you listen? No. And now look at you, you're a wreck. Why did you even fall for her Elena? She was a bad choice of friend to begin with."_

_That had done it for me. All these suppressed feelings that I had tried to keep inside, they all just... came out. And unfortunately for me, it was towards my Papa... protecting you. _

"_Yulia is NOT a thing! How fucking dare you! She's human like all of us, and it isn't her fault if her feelings towards me had changed! You of all people should understand that Papa! Your feelings changed towards Mama. I fell for her because she was the best thing that had happened to me! Even you can't deny the fact that she helped me to gain confidence! You can call her all you want for breaking my heart, but never, and I mean never, say that she was a bad choice of friend!" _

_The next thing I remember, I felt a sting on my left cheek which increasingly converted into a burning sensation. He had hit me across the face. I know he hadn't meant to, I could see it in his eyes that he regretted what he did. It was, I suppose a natural reaction after hearing such verbal comments escape my lips. He was about to apologise but I had beaten him to it _

"_Get out... Now... Get out of my house... I forgive you, but... leave, I don't want to see you right now." _

_Luckily he complied; he walked out with his shoulders hunched and his head shamefully hung. As he got to the front door he turned around looked at me and apologised deeply. That was the last I would see of my Papa again for another two years. _

_During that small episode, I had decided that, although I could sit around all day and go into a deep depressive state, I had to go out, make new friends. Who knows? Maybe they could be the first step to getting my life back on track. _

_Three weeks had passed since then and I had made quite a few new friends. Two that stuck out the most however, was Svetlana and Andrei. They were great friends in such a short amount of time; we had a lot in common. Andrei was studying to become a psychologist, just like I had wanted to do. He was surprised when he realised how much I actually knew when it came to the psychological studies._

_How couldn't I be good at it? You were my best friend, I knew you in and out. I knew when you were hiding what you really felt, and I knew how to calm you down, which if I may say, was a daunting task in itself. You would be perfect for a psychology class, I bet each one would fail; you aren't exactly the easiest person to read. _

_Svetlana on the other hand was the complete opposite of Andrei. She was more focused on becoming famous. But she was down to Earth, and knew not to think lowly of others. We had the same personality, although she was more confident than me. _

_Andrei was your typical pretty boy – Blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect jaw line, tanned perfectly. I wasn't surprised that he could get almost any girl he wanted. After all, his sense of style was great, and he was tall. Tall and handsome, a definite plus with women. We don't exactly want someone that's shorter than us now do we? He did have one flaw past everything perfect though. That was the fact that he was a major player. Don't get me wrong, he had a great personality. But he loved women too much, and the fact he couldn't stick with one made it even worse._

_Svetlana however, was yet again the complete opposite – Black hair, green eyes, oval shaped face, and quite pale. She had a slim figure and had an expensive sense of style. She was taller than me (although it really isn't that hard to be) and was determined to get to the top. In the short amount of time that I had known her, I already looked up to her. The determination that she held inside of her was definitely something to admire. No matter how many times she got neglected she would always shrug it off and try again. I knew that one day she would make it._

_Another week had passed and Andrei and Svetlana had really helped me forget about everything that had happened. That is, of course, until we had met again. It was February 14__th__ and snow covered the streets of Moscow, not surprising to say the least, snow didn't stop here until March. Six days to go until your birthday, I had thought that I needed to go out and get you a present. My old present was something that screamed out 'I love you with all my heart' and I didn't want you thinking that you could easily find me and bring me back. So I had gone to a few jewellery shops to get you a bracelet. I would have gotten you a ring, but I remembered that you already wore quite a few. And I knew what type of bracelets you liked. I guess it was silly of me to think you wouldn't be in GUM; after all it is your favourite shopping place. You always did like expensive things. _

_I was in one of the jewellery shops and I had heard someone say "Come on Yulia, I've already told you, I'll get you any ring you want, you can even get the most expensive one if you want." _

_I didn't really pay much attention; after all, how many people in Moscow alone have the name Yulia? So I carried on looking for the right type of bracelet to buy you. One had already caught my eye, although it could have a double meaning. It wasn't expensive, but it wasn't exactly cheap either. It was silver and had a single charm with it, that charm was half a heart, in some ways, it was perfect. After all you had broken my heart, and that charm did have the broken line where it cut off. I guess though, considering that it only was half a heart, it shown that a part of my heart would always belong to you. Nothing would be able to change that. So as a result, I decided to buy it. The jeweller had told me that it came in a pack of two, and that the other chain was the other half of the heart. I had decided that it was perfect, I liked the chain myself and, at least then, I knew that metaphorically, a piece of my heart would always be with you whilst the rest was safely with me. After buying the chains and packing it in the bag, I had decided to take a quick look around the shop one more time. I always was a sucker for nice jewellery. After a quick last look I had decided to head back out to get something to eat, and that was when, I had gotten to see you once more. I didn't notice you at all; after all, I was on my phone texting Svetlana to meet up with me. I didn't exactly want to eat on my own. _


	6. Reunion

_**Chapter 5 - Reunion **_

_I had just gotten out of the shop and was about to make my way to Starbucks when I heard someone shout my name. The next thing I knew I had turned round to see you with a huge smile on your face, and from what I could see, water building up in your eyes. _

"_Lena! Your here! Your actually here! I can't believe it, I missed you so much!"_

_I couldn't reply, I wanted to, so much, but my mind couldn't produce any words to come out of my mouth. I had thought that if I had met you again, then talking to you would be easy. Right now though, my thoughts were on how much you hadn't really changed. You still had your figure, which temporarily made me think you had an abortion, but having a closer look, you could see the beginning of a baby bump forming. And your hair had grown longer, not immensely; it had only grown about two, maybe three inches. The most noticeable change - for me that is, was your eyes. Usually they were a sparkling sapphire blue. But now, they were nearly grey, dull, no life. You were unhappy, I couldn't help but think of whether me moving was the reason of your unhappiness. _

"_Lena... please... please, talk to me. I want you back in my life, whatever I have done, I am truly sorry. You're my best friend Lena, I love you so much... please... just talk to me." _

_I couldn't believe what I was hearing, seriously, you didn't know what you had done? I thought it would be fairly obvious after all; you were the one who told Pasha everything. _

"_How dare you think you can just come up to me and act as if nothing's wrong. And then have the cheek to say that you're sorry! And you don't even know what you're sorry for!" _

_Your expression, to say the least, was one ridden with pure shock. I had never raised my voice at you this loud, and I could clearly tell that you were confused._

"_Lena... honestly... I have no idea what you are talking about. For nearly three months I've been trying to figure out what I've done wrong." You had your head hung down and that was it. That was the first time I had ever seen you cry. Well obviously I had seen you cry from laughter, but that was it. This was the first time I had ever seen you cry over anything else that wasn't to do with joy. And my heart couldn't help but melt at the sight of it. I had to keep strong though, I couldn't let you win. _

"_I think you do, after all you're the one who told that bastard over there everything." I had pointed over to Pasha who was standing at the jewellery shop window and was quietly looking in this direction at the scene that was unfolding in front of him. _

"_Wh... what are you talking about? I didn't disclose much about us to Pasha." _

_I couldn't tell whether you were telling the truth or not, your head kept facing the floor after you had said something, and I had never been in this situation before. You had never cried like this in front of me. Maybe it was the pregnancy, after all it would enhance your emotions and cause mood swings. I was expecting for you to lash out next if that was the case._

"_Well, why don't you ask him, since you seem to have forgotten everything?" _

_Straight away you had called him over seeming quite angry all of a sudden. I myself was getting angrier by the minute, not only would I be late for meeting Svetlana but now I had to face Pasha again. _

"_Lena... I would say it was nice to see you again... But after you made Yulia this miserable, I'd be lying to say that." _

_I had noticed that you had given him a slight kick to his ankle, a signal that told him to be nice. _

"_Well, Pasha, why would she be miserable with me gone? If I was Yulia, after what you had told me, I'd be happy that I had gone and I could carry on with my life."_

_By now I had looked over to you, you were eyeing up Pasha suspiciously wondering what I had meant by all this. Pasha's eyes had widened, I guess he thought the reason you called him over was to support you and take you home, he definitely wasn't expecting this. _

"_Pasha… What the fuck is Lena talking about?" You had turned your head to him now, curiosity and anger clearly showing. _

"_Well… err… Well she's the one who moved. Yulia, she left you, how am I supposed to know? For all you know she could be lying to you." _

_I was appalled to say the least, how dare he accuse me of lying! He had a smug smirk across his face as he seen you contemplating his answer. I was about to retort with what he had told you, but you had already beaten me to it, by giving him a slap across the face. _

"_Who the fuck do you think you are! I've known Lena since I was eleven! Don't you think that I would know if she was lying by now! Now what did you fucking say to her!" We were both shocked; Pasha was more shocked that you actually hit him. I was more shocked that you were defending me. _

_What you had just did, plus you raising voice, had gathered a crowd. I could see that people were whispering and I was slowly getting more embarrassed by the second. I never was good with people whispering about me. Pasha had kept quiet; I think he was just as embarrassed that his girlfriend was shouting at him in a public place like this. After all, it was GUM; everyone went there at one point or another. _

"_Fucking hell Pasha! What the fuck did you say to Lena to make her walk out of my life like that! It isn't that hard a question to answer!" _

_His head had snapped up with a smile across his face, I knew something bad was going to happen. "She still loved you when you told her you know. She's never stopped loving you; you've wanted to know what she said the day she left, well it's your lucky day Yulia. I'll tell you."_

_I looked in your direction to see you already looking directly at me. Although I didn't say a word, you knew exactly what I wanted you to do. _

"_Pasha don't you fucking dare tell me. That choice is up to Lena to tell me what she said that day. Anyway, I have a strong hunch the reason she left isn't because of what she had told you. Now then… I'm going to ask you one last time… nicely." You had taken a deep breath and closed your eyes briefly to try and calm yourself down before looking back at Pasha and begin speaking again. _

"_Now tell me Pasha… What the fuck did you tell Lena?" Annoyance could be clearly heard in your voice, and it was obvious Pasha could detect that annoyance as well. as he had started to rub his hands together involuntarily. _

"_Well errm…. You see… I may have told her… that… ahem… that you… that you never… errm… loved her…" I could see your eyes widen and straight away you looked over to me for the confirmation of truth, I had nodded my head slowly and you looked back at Pasha._

"_You bastard" I could barely make out what you had said, it was a near whisper after all. _

"_You fucking bastard! How dare you tell her that! You know! You know how much I fucking love her! How could you even sleep next to me at night when I was depressed! You son of a bitch!" _

_I was temporarily paralysed, I wasn't sure if I had heard you right, thoughts kept running through my head. 'Did I hear her right? Did she really say she loves me?' 'No, no I'm going crazy.'I snapped out of it when I glanced back over to you, you were infuriated. I had to step in, try and calm you down, after all, you were pregnant. I had placed my right hand on your right shoulder and placed my other hand in your left._

"_Yulia… come on, it isn't worth stressing over-"_

"_Isn't worth stressing over? He fucking told you a complete lie which made you move. Why wouldn't I stress over this Lena?" Your voice had settled, but I could tell you were still annoyed. You were still tense, a sure sign that you needed to be calmed down. So, with my hand in yours, I traced circles in the palm of your hand. It was natural for me, after all, we had been together since we were fourteen. I knew how to relax you easily. Sure enough you started to relax, your breathing became more regular and your grip on my hand had loosened ever so slightly. _

"_Come on Yulia, you can come eat with me if you want, we can catch up on things." I'd said it quietly, loud enough for you to hear. But only you. You had turned round and gave me one of your genuine smiles. It seemed I had forgotten how beautiful your smile actually was, as I was temporarily stunned once again. _

"I'd love that, can we go somewhere that sells pickles and ice-cream? It seems to be my favourite at the minute… it's all I've been craving." I couldn't help but laugh at your reply, as disgusting as it sounded, the look on your face was that of pure innocence. It reminded me of whenever you'd want ice-cream when we'd go out. You would start jumping up and down like a little child begging me to buy you some 'icy goodness.'

"Well, I promised a friend I'd meet up with her now at Starbucks. So we'll have to go there first. But afterwards we can go to the shop and I'll buy you some ice-cream and pickles ok?" Your facial expression had lightened up, and your smile had grew into a full blown toothy grin. Yet again I couldn't help but laugh at you, you were bouncing on your tiptoes, and your hands were waving around excitedly.

"Yay! Ice-cream! Ice-cream! Gonna get me some ice-cream!" You had sung aloud. I was quickly getting embarrassed, even though many of the people had left after you had settled down, there were still many that lurked around in case of another overblown argument.

"Yulia! Stop it! Your embarrassing me!" My face had gone red with embarrassment, and you had quickly noticed.

"Aww poor Lenka, good to know that I can still embarrass you so easily huh?" You smiled even more if that was possible and you draped your arm around my shoulder. I froze momentarily, you still had that special touch that would send shivers up my spine. I wasn't sure if you had noticed, because you were laughing quite loudly. I had noticed a few things though, you had definitely lightened up as you were no longer tensed. The thing that mostly stood out though, was that your eyes had gained a slight sparkle, and that was when my worries slowly started to fade away.


End file.
